Verbal Botches
Sometimes you just happen to say something stupid. Those things you wish nobody heard or you had never said; this is the compilation of those awkward and embarrassing quotes from our game. Enjoy!
Terms
Though not exactly a botch, this term belongs in this company. There is a problem with the spell ranges, since Far is exactly that (~200 paces), and the next one is Near, which, strangely so, is quite near (15 paces). That is why people try to get to that 15 paces and keep the enemies from coming any closer. This happens quite often, so Lauri came up with a verb that describes this kind of action:
nieriä, v. (finnish) - to get to 15 paces of your target, usually done with stealth and/or magic. Target can be a human or something else, but basically when you are approaching it, you nierit it. In finnish, verbs are conjugated for every personal form.
Conjugation of nieriä form person - english person - finnish verb single I minä nierin you sinä nierit he/she hän nierii plural we me nierimme you te nieritte they he nierivät There are also a few verbs that describe a destroying or eliminating action. Depending on what is destroyed, the words are divided into two classes. There is one, that describes eliminating a living being, and other one describing the act of destroying objects.
When e.g. a magus is killing a peasant with his magic, even if the magic does not involve fire or the art of Ignem, the correct verb to be used is torchata.
When the aforementioned magus is tired of the peasants of a certain village, he probably will destroy it. The correct word for this is reizata.
NPCs
"help me, please help me..", the mute girl says...
(our first encounter with the Caitlin and Knut)Servants of Crom Gruach: "Open in the name of Satan!"
(knocking on a door in the castle while we were playing the Fallen Angel)
PCs
"I'll jump down, already swinging blows while in the air!"
Overconfident Seumas, attacking Crom Cruagh in the Fallen Angel. This is truly a legendary one.Sir Argyle to his grog Kif: "Go to your room and seal yourself in."
(Kif actually has a tiny room for himself, called Kifitorium. The room doesn't have a door, only a doorway, which he had to brick up. Sir Argyle was not a nice master.)Belisarios' ship crew: "Where is Nob, we want to poke him with sticks!"
(Like most of Jonas' characters, the npc followers of Belisarios Decados are quite evil and twisted. Nob himself on the other hand is a small man, a mix of dark faeries and human - +1 Faerie Blood Virtue.)Profanus in debate over a dead grog: "Come on guys, I just want to cut his heart out. No harm in that!"
(Profanus is a magus, who is very obsessed with the death and the dead. When a grog of our covenant died, we took him to our meeting room and questioned him with Whispers Through the Black Gate. After this Profanus wanted to cut his heart out, because he wanted it as a focus.)Caligula: "Is there anyone alive here that I could stab in the ass?"
(Like stated earlier, Jonas' characters tend to be quite "unique".)Profanus: "Murder is justified!"
(What profanus meant to say was: "We have just rightfully avenged the death of our sodale." More carnage was to follow, including the death of Profanus. He is now probably with Argyle. This one-liner was directed to Phelan after we had killed Hymyhuuli ("Smiley").)SG: The old woman speaks to you: "I have seen you before..."
Ville: "We have seen ourselves, too."Juha: "I am an old man, I can't see so well, I've got gout in my eyes."
(What he meant was "I've got cataracts in my eyes.")Dikaios: "He cannot breathe underwater, he's somewhat retarded."
(He was talking to the naiad (see below) who wanted to take Peadar into her pond for the night.)
Players
Ode: "You approach the peasant who is working on his potato field."
Talk about innovative peasants, it is year 1195 after all...Lauri: "Ignus comes to the clearing, saying in latin: "Hands off her, she's mine!" "
Players: "That was english though."One of our grogs had died outside our covenant. We went to the village to retrieve his body, and found out that one little girl had been killed. We went to the graveyard, where there were two newly digged and covered graves, one bigger and one smaller.
Ode: "The grog's corpse must be in the bigger grave!"We were accused of murder, and there was a bloody bowl beside the corpse which had been bled dry. A local man with a red cap was suspected.
Antti: "Does the bowl look like a hat was dipped in it?"We followed tracks into a small faerie regio, where there was a talking tree and a small pond, and a naiad (water nymph) who lived there. In real life, Juha was in the bathroom, seeing a man about a horse (VERY loudly), with the door open.
Ode: "I hear the splashing of a naiad!"Lauri: "Ignus comes to the clearing, saying in latin: "Hands off her, she's mine!" "
Players: "That was english though."Lauri: "What is 'the last one' in latin?" Ode: "Sistus". Taken from the swedish word sista. However Juha clears the table with his guess: "Lastus".
Juha: "Aren't horses hooves made out of iron?".
Antti: "If you use a simple die, you don't necessarily need to use a stress die."
Ville: "Sitä juuri tarkoitin kun cloakin kanssa on periaatteessa mahdollista käyttää armoria -> cloakki on vaate ja armori on armori. Cloakki menee armorin päälle, viittahan se on."
Juha: "Next to your village there's this wooden stone church."
Lauri: You hear two words in your mind: "Near the big oak."
"Se oliki se itee!"